Jul 30, 2005

people say the darndest things

The one blog I read that offers up more humor on an absolutely constant basis is Overhead in New York. I can't vouch for the veracity of these quotes but even if they are made up, and I'm sure a large percentage are, they could be true. Some are simply priceless.
Chick: " I know this guy who's perfect for you...he's a complete idiot."
- Columbia University
Guy: "Well at one point he took off his boots. A while later he tried to put them back on. I told him that they were on the wrong feet. Then he looked at me and said, 'No...these are my feet.'"
- Hank's Saloon
Gay guy on cell: "Ever since I lost my hair I've had 20-year olds chasing me around like I'm an ice cream cone."
Woman: "Oh no, she loves having surgery..."
- Fresh Bites
Woman: "Sometimes I see underwear I don't even understand."
- Victoria's Secret
Girl #1: "So when I was in Italy, I went to France."
Girl #2: "What did you do there?"
Girl #1: "I went to the Leaning Tower of Pisa."
Girl #2: "Still Italy."
Girl #1: "Really?"
Girl #2: "Yeah. So what did you do in France?"
Girl #1: "I guess I didn't go to France, then..."
- Toys R Us
Guy: "Hey, how you doin'?"
Bum: "Aww shit. It's the White man!"
- 116th & Amsterdam
Construction guy #1: "Hey, pretty boy! Whatcha got under that skirt?"
Guy in skirt: "Your girlfriend's fantasy."
Construction guy #2: "Oh, shit. He got you there, dude."
- Broadway & 39th
Dumb teen: "Hey, look at this! It says 'Train for jobs in beeyotch.'"
Smarter teen: "Fool! That word is biotech. Why you gotta be ignorant all your life?"
- 1 train
The subway doors open. A hobo enters, holding a bottle of windex in one hand and a tube of toothpaste in the other
Hobo: "Which is the better time to read Dostyevsky? Winter?"
He sprays the windex.
Hobo: "Or Spring?"
He squeezes toothpaste.
Japanese girl: "Spring!"
Hobo: "You are correct."
- F train

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