Oct 23, 2005

baby wisdom

  • Babies seem utterly fascinated by Starbucks coffee cups and cell phones. My sister says her kids were the same. Toy makers should be basing their product designs around this fact.
  • Babies are far more interested in the box and packaging that a toy comes in rather than the toy itself. When opening boxes they will pull everything out, toss the toy over their shoulder, and proceed to play with what is left.
  • If a baby does play with a toy it is invariably only the warning/washing tag that is attached to it that they are interested in. Surprisingly a toy maker has built a toy around this fact. It's basically a stuffed cube with lots and lots of tags attached to it. Unfortunately I could not find a link.
  • Babies have some innate desire to empty out boxes and drawers. They have no interest in what they are removing. They just want everything out. I have started calling my daughter entropy-girl.
  • I used to have the philosophy that you might as well let kids bump their heads so they learn not to do it again. It turns out that this doesn't work. The whole learning thing must come later in life.
  • Don't spit wash a baby. From a very early age they realize this is very annoying and gross.
  • Babies, despite their diminutive stature, are like ants. They are strong for their size. Do not underestimate them. They are wily.
  • Despite what you'd expect beforehand, all the various waste fluids that are ejected from a baby don't seem to bother you in the least. There is nothing a baby can do that invokes the word 'gross'. At least not yet.
  • A baby vomiting is truly an amazing site to see. It is epic in its execution (the lack of grossness experienced, per the previous point, allows you to appreciate this).
  • I'm convinced that baby's have some innate wiring that allows them to detect the imminent triggering of a camera flash. Upon sensing this they will close their eyes.
  • Babies are good at farting and burping. If you are afflicted with this type of behavior, I find you can blame 50% of your transgressions on the baby and get away with it. Or so I'm told.

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